Why I’m envious of the girl at Starbucks who has a freakishly specific order.

You’re sitting at a restaurant and the water pours water into your sprite glass. What do you do? Do you make a fuss? Do drink suck it up the watered down concoction? Most of the time I just use my awkward telepathy powers to try to convey my unhappiness to the waiter. In a lot of ways, I can be extremely passive. I’m not one to make a big fuss of something, or be an inconvenience. Yesterday I listened to the most ‘boss-like’ display of gumption. A coworker of mine was telling us about how she was handling a situation at hotel with poor customer service and it got resolved with free wine and free valet.  In my head I was thinking “Wow, I could never do that”.  I don’t think I’ve ever said to someone “This is a problem and what are you going to do to fix it?” Partially it’s a fear of looking like the crazy loud black lady but it’s mostly being socially awkward. I should not have a problem asking for what I want or letting other know when something is unacceptable. I don’t have to be rude or even loud;being passive solves absolutely nothing. I should have no problem ordering a freakishly specific drink at Starbucks because it’s exactly what I want and what I am paying for and that’s just fine. So in 2014 I’m going to make a definite attempt to speak up, be less passive and less timid!



Happy New Year!

I kept trying to figure out how I would describe 2013. What did it mean to me? What did I learn? I can honestly say it was probably the first time problems couldn’t be fixed by being a good student or a good person. I finally got a whopping spoonful of the cruel world. I think I probably cried this year than I have my whole life. Crying used to be a rare annual occurrence for me, and it became my new normal. It was quite the challenging year there were so many unexpected deaths, heart breaking disappointments and uncertainty. All of this happened and it forced me to grow so much. I feel like I’ve aged in the last 6 months and I’m really a 50 year old woman. I had some amazing moments of 2013, but the things that really stand out now or those moments “my life was over” and I “couldn’t go on” with whatever. It showed me who friends are, it made me look beyond the titles others had given me and made me define myself. Beyond a student leader, mentor, girlfriend and daughter. Who am I at the core and what do I stand for? Looking back at it I feel like I can do anything now and I can’t wait to take everything I’ve learned into 2014 and make it a fantastic year!
Cheers to growth!